The Kyman Chronicles
by FrostingMuffin56
Summary: When Kyle, the Prince of Elves, and Cartman, the Grand Wizard, meet for the first time a terrible incident happens which ends up with the two being forced to tolerate each other so that they can go home. Sorry for the terrible summary. Bonus:Weird-ass dialogue between me, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman! Kyman with a bit of Style at the start.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1 – Kyle's New Bodyguard_

**Full Summary: In the land of Zaron, everything is beautiful and calm. Every species coexist peacefully. But if you travel far enough to the South, you'll find two kingdoms that have hated each other since the beginning of time. Kyle, the Prince of the Elves, and Cartman, the Grand Wizard, are no different than their ancestors. Neither of the two can wait until they spill their first blood in the battlefield. But when a certain accident leaves them alone, they must learn to tolerate each other if they want to get back home.**

**New story! Hooray! This is Kyman (once again) with slight Style at the beginning, but nothing will get in the way of my OTP! NEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *a million years later* -EEEEEEEEEEER! Okay, I'm done. Well, anyways, this is based a little bit off of the Stick of Truth. Rated T for reasons, I will post warnings when things change (if they ever do). They are all still canon age.**

**Kyle: Wait, another Kyman fanfic? Not again!**

**Me: Yes again. You and Cartman are totally gay for each other, ADMIT IT!**

**Kyle: No we're not! Right, Cartman?**

**Cartman: We're not?**

**Kyle: GODDAMNIT!**

**Me: Eheheheheheh!**

**Stan: Why, FrostingMuffin56? T^T**

**Me: Hey, at least I'm putting a little Style in the beginning! Don't be a pussy.**

**Stan: You already killed me off in **_**The Sky Falls Down**_**!**

**Me: Well suck it up, buttercup, Kyle is Cartman's propertah.**

**Cartman: Sweet ^3^**

***Kyle flips everybody off and leaves the room***

The redheaded Elf Prince stared at the training dummy, drawing the arrow back and aiming slightly above the center of the target. After an eternity of sitting still, he released the arrow and it pierced the red dot in the middle of the round wooden board. "Good shot, Kyle, but you'll be dead before you let go of the arrow if you keep hesitating like that." Kyle whipped around to see his best friend, Stan, watching him from the side of the training area. He deposited the bow and arrow into a wooden shelf. "Aren't you supposed to be training with your dad?" he asked, taking a sip from his wooden water bottle. Stan smiled, "Nah, I just got a job. Guess what it is?" "What?" "Guess." Kyle pondered for a moment before answering. "Did you receive a position as a soldier?" "Nope." "A hunter?" "No." "…a prostitute?" "What? NO!" "Then what?" Kyle couldn't help but shake with frustration. Stan laughed, and ruffled Kyle's poufy red hair. He hated it when Stan did that. "I'm your new bodyguard."

Kyle blinked with surprise. Bodyguard? "Since when did I need a bodyguard?" he thought out loud, "I can protect myself just fine!" Stan faked a hurt look. "What, you don't want to spend time with your best friend?" he said, and then spilled the beans; "Actually, the annual Gathering is tomorrow. Since you just came of age, you're able to come." "So?" "There are a lot of dangerous creatures near the Gathering place. It's my job to protect you." Kyle scowled. What was he to Stan, a damsel in distress? But instead of snapping at his only friend, he just sighed and put on his crown. It was made of thin oak tree branches, with a few leaves here and there to decorate it. He stalked out of the training area without a word.

Stan stared after his best friend with a longing look in his eyes. He wished he could tell Kyle how much he wanted to be more than best friends, how much he loved him. But he knew that he would be rejected. Worse, Kyle might not ever talk to him again. The thought made tears form in his sapphire-blue eyes. _The least I can do is protect him with all my heart; if he got killed I'd never be able to live with myself,_ he thought, _I wish he knew that._ But Kyle was too stubborn to admit he needed protection, even if both his legs were broken. Stan snapped out of his daydreaming before anyone caught him staring into empty space like he was lovestruck – well, he was, but that wasn't the point.

"Grand Wizard! I have news for you!" Cartman turned to see his servant, Leopold. Everyone referred to him as Butters, though. "What is it, Butters? I was just going out to collect the taxes!" he snapped, tapping his foot impatiently. "The annual Gathering is tomorrow, your Highness." Butters informed him, "I heard that the Elves are coming, too." Cartman rolled his eyes, of course they were. Even though he wasn't looking forward to it on the outside, he was actually really curious to see who their Prince was. So that he could rip on the sorry son of a bitch, of course. The Elf Queen really was a bitch, so it just proved him right.

The next day, both Kyle and Cartman got ready to go to the annual Gathering. (I'm too lazy to put anything more here .-.)

**END OF CHAPTER 1**

**Thanks for taking the time to read my second fanfic! Now for some nice little dialogue between me, Kyle, Cartman, and Stan! :D**

**Stan: That was too short. Everyone knows the Style is going to disappear by next chapter, and most of this chapter was just some gay dialogue between the four of us! :(**

**Kyle: Oh, come on! You're caught up in this yaoi shit too?**

**Me: Don't be so grumpy just because you're the bitch in both Kyman and Style.**

**Kyle: Shut the fuck up!**

**Cartman: Yeah, Kahl. We should really arrange for you to get that sand out of your vagina.**

**Kyle: I DON'T HAVE SAND IN MY FUCKING VAGINA!**

**Me: You don't have one, genius.**

**Kyle: No shit, Sherlock.**

**Stan: WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WRITE A STYLE FANFIC?!**

**Me: When I feel like it. But for now, Kyle is Cartman's Jew. Sorry.**

**Kyle: Damn it, nobody **_**owns**_** me you fucking asshole!**

**Cartman: Too bad, I do! *He picks up Kyle in bridal style***

**Kyle: …I fucking hate you all.**

**Stan: Okay, so let's just get this straight. There **_**will**_** be Style fanfics in the future, right?**

**Me: Yes, Stan. You'll also be able to…**

**Kyle: WHAT THE FUCK, FATASS! GET OFF OF ME!**

**Me and Stan: O_O**

**Me: CARTMAN! AT LEAST GO AND BOOK A HOTEL ROOM FIRST!**

**Stan(in his mind): I'll be able to do that someday? Yesss….**

**Kyle: Help me, you retards! DX**

**Cartman: Nobody's gonna help you now, Jew! :D**

***Stan and I cover our eyes***


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2 – The Worst Gathering Ever_

**Here's the second chapter of the Kyman Chronicles. That's all. .3.**

**Stan: Damn you and your plotlines, Muffin! Why does the Style end so soon?!**

**Me: You can damn me all you want but I write what I write.**

**Cartman: Yeah, Stan, don't be a hater like Wendy.**

**Me: Hey Kyle, why are you dressed in a maid outfit?**

**Kyle: Don't ask. T~T**

**Cartman: Come on, Kahl, you look totally hot in it! Right Stan?**

***Stan drools***

**Me: Yeah, it kinda suits him. I approve!**

**Kyle: Fuck you! ~**

**Cartman: No Kyle, I'm doing the fucking around here.**

**Kyle: WHUT O~O**

**Felicity: HEY! Don't forget I'm in this fanfic too! :D**

Cartman looked out of the carriage window, a bored look splayed out across his face. "Are we there yet?" he grumbled, crossly. "No, poopsikins. It'll be a few more minutes before we arrive." "But mooooom! I don't wanna stay sitting like this any longer, the seat hurts my ass!" "Language, hon." Nobody spoke the rest of the way. After what seemed like an hour, they finally arrived at the Gathering place. Cartman hadn't been to a Gathering before and was eager to see who he would be battling in a few years.

The place was huge, and full of so many different creatures that Cartman had never seen before. Another carriage pulled up beside his, and he recognized the sight of pointy ears and pale skin. _What a coincidence!_ He thought, smirking. He hopped out of the carriage. At the same time, the one who he assumed to be the Elf Prince also exited his carriage, followed by another Elf with dark hair.

"Well, if it isn't the faggy Elves!" he sneered, making the two Elf boys turn their gazes to him. "What do you want, Human?" the dark-haired one spat, drawing his sword defiantly. Cartman mockingly examined his staff, "Oh, nothing much. I was just marveling at how _cute_ you two are together!" he faked a sweet voice, drawing a glare from both Elves. "We're not in love, fatboy." The Elf Prince spoke for the first time, his emerald-green eyes shining with unmistakable anger, "Who do you think you are to insult your betters anyway?" Cartman chuckled. "My betters? Not by a long shot, Elf. I am, in fact, the Grand Wizard." He looked down at the other boy; he was shorter than him by at least three inches!

"Why don't you just leave us alone, you fat fuck?!" Stan spat, moving in front of a very annoyed Kyle, "Kyle and I don't need you ruining our time here, so go piss off someone else!" "Hey! I can defend myself, you know!" Kyle protested. The so-called "Grand Wizard" was having a good laugh. "How cute! How about I leave you two alone to make out for a while?" he snickered, walking away with the most stupid-looking smug look on his face. As Stan watched him leave, he felt a sharp pain on his cheek. "Ow! The fuck, Kyle?!" his best friend didn't answer, just walked into the Gathering himself. "Kyle! Wait up!"

Kyle couldn't believe Stan. He knew how protective his friend was, but _goddamn!_ He just wanted to enjoy his time here without being treated like a baby, especially not by his best friend who he was just as old and strong as! A loud explosion snapped Kyle out of his angry thoughts. "What the hell?!" he yelped as people everywhere started to scream; more explosions were being heard everywhere. It was deafening. Kyle could have sworn he heard Stan yell his name, but he was too terrified to think straight. He could hear everyone panicking and running for their lives. What was going on? "_This wasn't supposed to happen!" "Take cover! They won't be able to get us while we're hidden!" "Somebody help! My big sister is missing! Please, she's my only family! PLEASE!"_

Kyle looked up to see a horrifying sight. Giant, powerful wings caught his eye, along with curved claws and sharp teeth. _Dragons!_ His eyes flitted around, trying to find a place to hide so they wouldn't see him. Many people were already being carried off. _Oh, God, please see me through this!_ He prayed silently as he darted towards a small cave to take cover. He panted, sweat running down his forehead.

"Ay! Go away, you stupid Elf! This is _my_ hiding spot!" a familiar voice made him whip around and glare. _Oh, great. This guy is the last person I want to be stuck with._ It was none other than the fat Grand Wizard, said to be the heir to the throne in the Human kingdom. What kind of monarchs did those foolish Humans choose? "There's no time to be selfish, you fat turd!" Kyle yelled, clearly losing his temper "This is a life or death situation! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FAT HEAD!" the Grand Wizard looked like he was about to say something, but seemed to be lost for words when he looked behind Kyle. A low growl made the redhead slowly turn around to see something big towering over both of the boys. _Oh, shit…_

Stan frantically searched for Kyle in the crowd. "Kyle! Where are you?! KYYYLE!" he called to his best friend, hoping to see a familiar mob of red hair. _Please don't be dead…please don't be dead!_ He begged in his head. If anything happened to his Prince, it would be his fault. He touched the red mark on his face where Kyle slapped him. "STAAAN!" he heard Kyle's voice and turned his head to the direction of the scream. Kyle was in trouble. Big trouble, by the sounds of it. Stan gasped in horror when he saw Kyle squirming in the talons of one of the biggest dragons, along with the stupid Grand Wizard. He quickly climbed onto the highest mound of rocks he could find, and whistled loudly to catch the dragon's attention. He was _not_ about to lose Kyle! Not now, not ever! The giant scaly beat swerved in his direction.

Stan took a quick glance at his terrified friend and drew his sword. He was going to kill this dragon. Because if he didn't, Kyle would be gone forever. When the dragon was close enough, he swung his blade, which left a satisfyingly big scar on its neck. He continued to strike it, but it knocked him off of the rocks with a large wing. "Stan! Noooo!" he could hear Kyle screaming and crying. Stan hit the ground with a large _thud,_ but quickly got up. He wasn't dead just yet! But before he could climb again, he was met with the sight of the dragon flying off with Kyle still in its grasp. He had failed to save his best friend. He dropped to his knees, silent tears flowing down his cheeks. Kyle was gone. That was all he could think about. There was never going to be a cute voice telling him to stop being so protective; or emerald-green eyes shining in the daylight. Kyle was gone, and he would never come back. _Kyle…_

**END OF CHAPTER 2**

**I have done more tragedy! What will happen to Kyle and Cartman? Will they die, uh, of course not! There would be no Kyman if they did. As always, see you next chapter!**

**Love, FrostingMuffin56 ^3^ ~ 3**

**Me: And the adventure begins next chapter!**

**Kyle: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. -_-**

**Cartman: Don't be such a buzzkill, Kahl.**

**Kyle: Oh, shut the fuck up!**

**Stan: At least she didn't kill me off again, like in the last Fanfic.**

**Me: Be grateful. .-.**

**Kyle: This dialogue had better not end with Cartman trying to molest me again!**

**Me: Since Stan has a sword, he's probably chop Cartman's head off…**

**Kyle: Thank God. ^_^**

**Me: …and then try to molest you himself.**

**Kyle: Oh. o_o**


End file.
